Why Teachers are So Stressed...check it out!

When in School we always wondered why teachers always seemed so mad

Now we know the reason….coz they are so stressed out kids, Why??????? Read below the essays to know

Want more?................... Check out these Mathematics geniuses…

How Many Animals are there in This Image

How Many Animals are there in This Image

Tell your answer as Comment to this Article below.. shall see… if you can name the animals…

Girls: Saree Choice ???

The girls want to have a poll as to Which color should the saree be...
The choices are:
1. off white
2. pale blue
3. lavender
4. buttercup yellow

Comment your choices :)

ALL THE BEST EVERYONE!!! :)

స్టూడెంట్: మొత్తం మీరే చేసారు. ఇంక చాలు సర్, మీరు

స్టూడెంట్: మొత్తం మీరే చేసారు. ఇంక చాలు సర్, మీరు


మాకు 


ఇచ్చిన టఫ్ కొశ్చిన్ పేపర్స్ ఇంక చాలు! మీ పేపర్స్ వల్ల 

జీవితంలో చాలా కోల్పోయాము.

ప్రొఫెసర్: నా వల్లా..? యేం కోల్పోయావురా..?

స్టూడెంట్: ఇంకా అర్ధం కాలేదా మీకు? ఈ కాలేజ్ లో 

జాయిన్ అవ్వడానికి ముందు నాలో ఉండేది, ఇప్పుడు

లేనిది, యేంటో తెలుసా…? “పాస్ అవ్వటం”....! 

చిన్న చిన్న పరీక్షల్లో కూడా ఫెయిల్ అయ్యాను మీ 


వల్ల....

ఈ కొశ్చిన్ పేపర్స్ మీరే సెట్ చేస్తారు.. 

ఈ పేపర్ చాలా ఈజీ అని మీరు నన్నే కన్విన్స్ చేస్తారు.. 

నాకు ఎలా ఉంటుందో తెలుసా "దానిని చింపి విసిరేసి", 

నాకు ఒక్క ముక్క కూడా రాదు అని అరవాలనిపించేది.. 

పరీక్ష రాయి అంటారు.. నేను ఏదో రాద్దామని వస్తే.. మీరు 

నన్ను ఫెయిల్ చెయ్యాలని చూస్తారు.. పేపర్ లో చాయిస్ 

ఇవ్వరు.. ఏ కొశ్చిన్ కి ఏ ఆన్సర్ రాయాలొ కూడా మీరె 

చెప్తే ఇంక నేను ఎందుకు సర్ రాయడం..

చివరికి నేను క్లాస్ లో ఎలా కూర్చోవాలో కూడా మీరే చెప్తే, 

బుర్రకి ఏమి ఎక్కడం లేదు సర్..

కష్టమైన పేపర్ సెట్ చెయ్యటం లో ఉన్న ఆనందం ఏంటో 

మీకు తెలుసు. కానీ పేపర్ లో చదివిన కొశ్చిన్స్ లేకపొతే

కలిగే బాధ ఏంటో మీకు తెలియ.....

Engineers...rockz

Hi,

Read till end

7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai.So both groups gather at Pune Station.

Both groups are desperately trying to prove their superiority .

SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI):
————————————– ————-
7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7 tickets..
Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come……
When TC arrives,
All 7 Engineers get in one toilet so when TC knocks, one hand come out with the ticket and the TC goes

Away….

NOW on return Journey All of them don’t get a direct Train to PUNE. So they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, from there they can easily get a LOCAL to PUNE

SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA):
———————————- ——————————
Doctors decided, “this time we will prove that we too are equal”….All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket Engineers don’t buy any ticket at all!!!!!..

TC arrives….

ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE.

One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One hand comes with the tickets, he takes the
ticket and comes in E ngg. Bathroom !… TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and they are heavily fined.

SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA): !
—————————————–
SO now both the groups r on LONAVALA station. Doctors planning their move for last chance, they board the local to Pune.

This time doctors decide that they will play the same (1 ticket) trick.

ALL Doctors take 1 tickets…Engineers BUY all 7 tickets this time…
SO TC Comes.. All Engineers showed their tickets ………………. ….

Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL train………..

Conclusion: Technically intelligent people are geniuses, don’t mess with Engineers.

Questions Not to Ask an Interviewer

Don't ask about salary in the initial interview with any firm or legal employer. There will be time enough to ask about that later when they make you an offer.

How hard do associates have to work? If you want to find out the answer without asking, there are other ways. Try to schedule any second interview with a firm or agency during the late afternoon. The chances are you'll still be there at 6:30, and you can see for yourself how busy the place is. Another way to find out is to ask a young associate (during the second interview) or perhaps an especially pleasant first interviewer, "How would you describe the life of a young associate at your firm?" Hopefully, they will bring up the subject voluntarily.

Do young associates have to attend a lot of mandatory social activities? An important question, but don't ask it. Again, hope it comes up in a second interview.

Letter to Bill gates

Letter is to Mr.. Bill Gates of Microsoft
Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some
problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button ‘start‘ but there is no ‘stop‘ button. We request you to check this.

2. We find there is ‘Run‘ in the menu. One of my friends clicked ‘run’ he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to ‘sit‘, so that we can click that by sitting.

3. One doubt is whether any ‘re-scooter‘ is available in system? I
find only ‘re-cycle‘, but I own a scooter at my home.

4. There is ‘Find‘ button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ‘ find’ button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

5. My child learnt ‘Microsoft word‘ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft sentence‘, so when you will provide that?

6. I brought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows ‘MY Computer’: when you will provide the remaining items?

7.. It is surprising that windows says ‘MY Pictures’ but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

8. There is ‘MICROSOFT OFFICE’ what about ‘MICROSOFT HOME’ since I use the PC at home only.

9. You provided ‘My Recent Documents’. When you will provide ‘My Past Documents’?

Regards,


Last one from me to Mr Bill Gates :

Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?

HEAVENLY PARADISE

Owing to the increasing number of prayers and requests to GOD...HE has started a new call centre...

called HEAVENLY PARADISE..

Imagine what would happen if GOD installed Voice Mail in Heaven

When you pray, you'd get this response:

"Hi ,Thank you for calling Heaven. If you want to speak to

Lord Ganesha - Press 1

Lord Shiva - Press 2

Lord Krishna - Press 3 ( Sorry, he is Busy with " Gopiyan " )

For a Directory of other Gods / Goddess - Press 4

For Further Assistance from Menka / Pari / Angels Press 9 .

You press 1 and get connected to Ganeshji and hear the following

message:

If you want to make a request - Press 5

For complaints / Grievances - Press 6 ( Seldom works )

For thanks giving - Press 7

For any thing else - please press 8 and wait for the Customer Support Angel to talk to you

If you would like to hear Naradji singing Bhajan while you are

holding ! Press *

After a few minutes comes the following message: " Our records show

that you have already prayed once today .

Please try again tomorrow . Meanwhile , if you require any emergency

assistance, please contact our offshore Customer Support Executive

FUN@@Java questions

Some important questions if you are preparing for a Java interview

Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?

A. Terms are different nothing more

Q. What do you know about the garbage collector ?

A. A person who clean the dust bin

Q. Explain RMI Architecture?

A. I am a computer professional not an architect student

Q. How do you communicate in between Applets & Servlets ?

A. If they are reachable by walk ,I will go in person, else I will use phone.

Q. What is the use of Servlets ?

A. In hotels ,they can replace servers

Q. What is the difference between Process and Threads ?

A. Threads are small ropes.Make a rope from threads is an example for process

Q. What is the order of method invocation in an Applet ?

A. Either ascending or desending.

Q. When is update method called ?

A. Who is update method?

Q. Have you ever used HashTable and Dictionary ?

A. There is a Dictionary named Hash in my table.

Q. What is JAR file ?

A. File that can be kept inside a jar.

Q. What is JNI ?

A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.

Q. What is the base class for all swing components ?

A. A glass that can be beneath all and which is very rigid.

Q. What is JFC ?

A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee

Q. What is Difference between AWT and Swing ?

A. AWT is an acronym .Swing is a word.

Q. How will you call an Applet from a Java Script?

A. I will give invitation

Q. Why do you Canvas ?

A. To get victory in election.

Q. How you can know about drivers and database information?

A. I will go and enquire in the bus depot.

Q. What is serialization ?

A. Arranging one after ther other from left to right.

Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?

A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.

Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?

A. Non living things can not communicate.

Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?

A. As you wish ,I do not have any objections.

Q. What are virtual functions ?

A. Functions about which we are dreaming.

Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?

A. When we sow a binary seed,a binary tree will grow.

Q. What is the exact difference in between Unicast and Multicast object ?

A. If in a society ,if there is only one caste ,then it is Unicast, Else it is multicast.

Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ?

A. Send it through courier.

Q. What is meant by flickering ?

A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls

Q. What is meant by distributed Application ?

A. Distributing application forms

Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?

A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.

ALL THE BEST.

Great place to work!

A small story about Great place to work.

A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said," Lord,I would like to know what Heaven and Hell

are like.

The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of the

room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled delicious and made the

holy man's mouth water. The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly.

They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles and each found it possible to reach

into the pot of stew and take a spoonful,but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the

spoons back into their mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said, "You

have seen Hell."

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round

table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-

handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump,laughing and talking. The holy man said, "I don't

understand"." It is simple said the Lord, "it requires only one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other. While

the greedy think only of themselves."

Moral:

Its people's attitude that makes our place of work, a hell or heaven to them!! 'Help and Seek Help' this makes all the

difference to each individual's life...and makes our lives hell or otherwise.

Success and happiness is all about effective team-work.....make it a great place to work

Be up-to-date!

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under

a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra

story of his Childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted

to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers.

The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river. As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She

showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer?"

Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."   

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his. Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.

The  engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."

The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make

the offer, the engineer

asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid idiot! The first two things I showed you were the

Trillennium and the

Billennium, the latest computers ...

So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

Moral: If one is not up-to-date with technology trends, it is better to keep quiet!!!